Add to List - #43
Sex Talks, The Ministry of Time and the world's sweetest ghost
How many times do people give you a recommendation and you say: “Oh, really? Cool. I’ll add it to the list!” followed by you going away and not adding it to any list, anywhere?
Add to List is the Sunday round-up containing the small things that brought me joy, evoked an emotional reaction or became some short-lived stability in the past 7 days, all documented in one place for you.
Thanks for reading!
Obsession
This little knitted ghost.
My granny gave me this. Doesn’t it want to make your heart sing? Look at her tiny smile!
Underneath that cute face, there’s a terry’s chocolate orange. No tricks, all treat.
Confession
I hate Halloween.
Despite finding that little ghost the cutest thing I have ever seen. I abhor absolutely everything about Halloween. Hate it. Loathe entirely hate. End it now.
Shook
S3x Talks with Emma Louise Boynton, Ben Hurst and Laura Bates.
On Wednesday, I went to a live recording of Sex Talks at the London Edition hotel hosted by Emma-Louise Boynton with guest speakers Laura Bates and Ben Hurst. The conversation was heavy, important and eye-opening.
Laura Bates, author and journalist, is outstandingly impressive. Her recent book, Men Who Hate Women: The Extremism Nobody is Talking About looks at how from incels to ‘alphas’, there is a vast network of undetected misogyny impacting our culture today. Using her knowledge, statistics and insights from this book and her other works as well as her role as founder of The Everyday Sexism Project. She was utterly engaging, pragmatic and left us with a rousing call to action.
The blurb (yes, just the blurb) from her latest book says it all really:
“Imagine a world in which a vast network of incels and other misogynists are able to operate, virtually undetected. These extremists commit deliberate terrorist acts against women. Vulnerable teenage boys are groomed and radicalised.
You don't have to imagine that world. You already live in it. Perhaps you didn’t know, because we don’t like to talk about it. But it’s time we start.”
Ben Hurst is the kind of man we need more of in the world: an educator and equity facilitator working with the incoming, impressionable male generation, he provided insight, empathy and education to help us understand why and how problematic male culture is so able to rapidly multiply. Witty, charming, outspoken and practical, he left me with the hope some people are working hard to try to fix the system.
The session discussed sexual assault (incl. the recent Gisele Pelicot headlines), domestic abuse, alpha males, Andrew Tate, incels, modern dating, the male perspective of feminism, the age at which we need to tackle these issues (it’s as young as ten or eleven) and our algorithmic echo chamber of extremism more generally.
Through this podcast series, Emma is hosting difficult conversations so many shy from. She asks pertinent questions and breaks taboo. It’s fantastic.
The podcast was recorded, so you’ll be able to listen in the near future. The whole series is great. This one was called ‘Why Do (Some) Men Hate Women?’
Go and listen (and make every man you know listen too).
Cook
Cosy Girl meals and pea smash with hot halloumi
Things in a sauce continue. This week one of my food highlights was a creamy (dairy-free) mushroom, leek and chicken stew. Sort of like a pie; without the pastry. I served it with whole grains and kale. On the menu this week: something squash based.
My sister also treated our family to brunch on Saturday, cooking up a delicious pea and mint smash on sourdough with honey hot halloumi. Never going out to a cafe again. Anywhere I can eat that and pay the bill in cups of tea wins.
Book
The Ministry of Time - Kaliane Bradley
It’s as in the future as it’s in the past. Historical Fiction meets Sci-fi in this eccentric, entertaining novel.
The book follows a civil servant who works at ‘The Ministry of Time’. She has a role to work as a ‘bridge’. Her role as bridge sees her as live-in supervisor to ‘expats’ brought back from other time periods while they attempt to adjust to modern life. The Ministry test the limits of time travel and together her and her assigned expat, Commander Graham Gore, an artic explorer from 1847, test whether or not connection can transcend the history of generations.
It’s funny and frank and surprisingly sexy. Clever, clever, writing.
Can’t Stop Scanning
Orange things.
I am in my orange era. This week’s addition: a leather notebook.
Forward Planning
On Sunday 3rd November, our night RE-PRODUCTION will take place at The Marylebone Theatre. It’s a charity fundraiser with proceeds going to MSI choices and Fertility Network UK. Both charities work across both NHS and private sectors to ensure safe, supported reproductive choices are available to all who need access to them.
The night will champion new writing and the programme includes theatre, prose and poetry across a broad range of topics in this space. Given the currently potential impact of the US election of reproductive rights, this is an incredibly pertinent evening. We really hope it will be a safe, inclusive space to start important conversations and showcase new work. I’m really excited about it.
You can purchase tickets using the button below. If you can’t make it but you’d still like to donate to the charities, then there’s the option of that too!
I hate Halloween too!! 👎🏾
Fabulous . Sorry we can’t make your event