Add to List - #98
Beaujolais Nouveau, birthing cults, baggy jeans, burgundy scarves
Hello, thank you, and welcome. I love you for being here!
Add to List is my Sunday round-up. It’s the small things that brought me joy, evoked an emotional reaction, or became some short-lived stability in the past seven days.
Obsession
Esther Perel on Cosmopolitan’s Blind Date.
I adore this woman.
Confession
I went shopping this week.
My intention was to buy only sensible winter-friendly purchases; only one item understood the assignment.
Shook
I am not a cynic when it comes to alternative therapies. I firmly believe in alternative methods (heck, I’ve been to see a womb-healer in my time) so I know that somatic work, body-based work etc. can be a good or perfect solve for our over-stimulated nervous systems. However, I do believe this should only go alongside traditional medically backed practices.
The screenshots in this article terrify me. To me, this feels like the next wave of alternative false claims (see: Belle Gibson). In Gibson’s era it was all blogs and threads— false information could only spread as fast as people could log on to individual sites and trawl through the comments; even Instagram was mostly made of up static posts and a newsfeed which refreshed in real time.
Now misinformation gains more traction, much faster. You only need to look at the worryingly political landscape or Andrew Tate’s manosphere to clock it. You can read this assuming people are weak, or had baby brain, or convinced themselves they needed these methods in a moment of rebellion but these are not weak, stupid people. The truth is: none of us are immune to cult-like thinking unless we can keep ourselves off the internet. (Spoiler: we can’t.) Subliminal messaging hits via through our phones at all hours of the day. So when is it that we will start banning screen time in the same way we make people smoke outside as a matter of deterring known harm to our populations? In this situation there are double the number of lives at risk — and half of them aren’t even living yet.
And it’s not all the internet’s fault too. I can’t help but feel that perhaps the rise of wellness culture, and privatised solutions, particularly in the hormone, fertility, and motherhood space are a cry for systemic help — the health infrastructure women rely on is historically under-funded, under-researched, and under-advocated for.
Cook
Key highlights this week:
Beaujolais Nouveau — Forza Wine, Southbank
A friend and I met for an early evening drink as the sunset over the Thames in the background. ‘Le Tout Nouveau’ Beaujolais Nouveau 2025 is everything we could have wished for and more. Any wine that is ‘made to drink young’ is a good one in my book. This bottle, with its colourful branding and bubblegum notes is sort of like JuicyFruit gum in alcohol form: trying to be grown-up, playful, and full of child-like deliciousness.
Yellow Tail Hamachi, Sashimi & Dessert Platters — Roka, Charlotte Street
When I walk into Roka on Charlotte Street, I immediately imagine that Jude Law and Sienna Miller are sat across the bar from me. Failing that, Gwyneth Paltrow might have just wrapped on a rom-com here while sporting a spiky haircut, or maybe Kiera Knightley and Jamie Dornan will be coming in soon to show off their chopsticks skills and midriffs as slippery as my salmon sashimi in their dangerously low slung jeans.
The place opened 2004, in the height of the highlighted, low kcal revolution and the beginnings of our minimalistic restaurant culture. The food? Well, I never tasted it back in 2004 (I was too busy making up dance routines and watching Bend it Like Beckham — two things which haven’t lost their place in our current zeitgeist) — but in 2025 this robatayaki cuisine still tastes sublime. Highlights were the sashimi platter for two; and the dessert plate (both which came with unnecessarily 00s, but welcome ice sculptures. The yellowtail hamachi was a sliver of umami high. And the dessert washed down with some yuzu sake fuelled some 90s-inspired afternoon shopping.
Crispy turmeric tofu bowls, homemade
It’s not all mid-week lunches and new drops from boujee bottles this week. I made some crispy turmeric tofu noodle bowls to ward off the cold and keep myself nourished. I used rice vermicelli noodles (purchased from my local asian supermarket) and had a sad half a carton of Pho broth from Itsu in the fridge. I decided to cook my noodles in it — as a stand-alone broth, I didn’t much rate it; far too heavy on the star anise. I chopped, dried and coated my tofu in turmeric, cornflour, salt and pepper, and celery salt before lightly frying the cubes in a mix of sunflower and sesame oil. Then, I stir-fried the remaining greens in the vegetable drawer (cavolo and broccoli), chopped some raw carrot, and chucked together a sushi vinegar and soy dressing for some extra greens. Topped with fresh avocado, mint and red chili before serving.
Book
The Course of Love, Alain de Botton
I've nearly finished this beautiful, reflective examination of the romantic condition. De Botton interrogates the behaviours which can and will bring us together and often threaten to tear us apart. For those in relationships, or starting families, it could easily deepen your bond in the same way Perel’s ‘Where Should We Begin’ does (note: in case the above obsession didn’t make it clear. I love her. She’s now on Substack, and this podcast and both her books — Mating in Captivity, and The State of Affairs changed my life).
For the singletons: similar to Esther Perel’s advice to Cosmopolitan comments above, I think it could serve as a simple reminder than it’s should be more about learning by doing, with kindness. We never can be fully ‘healed’, or ‘do all the work’ to find love. Sure, it can help. Self-awareness is essential; clear needs are imperative; openness is paramount. Yet I can’t help but feel like all this ‘intentionality’ and ‘non-negotiables’ chat circulating could be lending us all search for far too much control in romantic pursuits. Love is the antithesis of control.
There’s definitely some self-reflection we should be doing when it comes to matters of the heart; romantic relationships hold up a mirror to the most fractured parts of ourselves. So, I adore this book, not only because it’s deeply entertaining but because it does a beautiful job of reminding us, that yes, we are flawed, but we cannot have it all worked out before or even once we meet someone. We are only human after all.
Look
It’s happened. I caved. A mid-low rise jean now exists in my wardrobe.
Does this mean I’m down with the Gen Z? First stop was my ever-growing appreciation for longer socks (no cold ankles in winter, the tik-tok hungry have more than just ‘rizz’, they also have practicality).
Now these. I bought them slightly erring on one size up as well. Does this mean I have finally stopped giving away my millenialism via my wardrobe choices? Or are these clothes about to become horrendously uncool? Either way — I’m happy, they’re hugely comfortable.
Plus on my (sake-fuelled) shopping trip I did managed to add at least one sensible item (the above scarf) to my basket. It’s been wrapped around my neck while the temperatures have plummeted (even while indoors) — adds a pop of colour to my always-neutral coat collection. It’s warm, soft, and sophisticated. My burgundy comfort blanket when the bottle of beaujo isn’t available.
Can’t Stop Scanning
Charli XCX’s on here.
She’s on substack. Read: ‘the reality of being a popstar.’
Forward Planning
Two more of these newsletter until my festive break!
So, I plan to jam-pack them with recommendations for you to see you through winter.
This week I’m starting festivities with both a Thanks / Friends giving dinner (my first ever!) with some pals on Thursday, It’ll be wholesome and warm.
Cut to Friday and I’ll be hosting the pre-amble for a martini-fuelled disco night. Of course, I’ve got FAR too overexcited, and spent much of today planning a collection of x3 cocktails, a spread of nibbles, and designing a menu on Canva to go alongside it.
Plus, our Writers IRL festive hang. If you write on here and you’re looking for a chance to connect with others. Details here.
Really a fan of that scarf selfie